Forgiving Yourself

 

“Forgiveness is an art. It requires practise and precision for it lies dangerously on the borders of complacency and maturity.”

There are many ‘sides’ to you. Who you are as a person isn’t a linear graph. It’s checkered, complicated, selfish, giving, happy and sad. It’s an uncomfortable mix of way too many traits. Uncomfortable, because one is rarely 100% sure of who they are at a given time in space. On an average day, you can gauge who you are, and how you are and what you like and what you don’t. But on a lonely winter night, wrapped in many warm plush blankets, beside your books and your phone and your laptop (or kindle) you might often be tempted to figure out who you are and what are you like.

We dive deep into a sea of guilt, remorse, anger and sometimes, pity. Then, we sleep.

What our lives mean and if taken to an extreme, what does it mean to be truly alive. It is during these slender moments that our biggest fears, failures and setbacks haunt us. We dive deep into a sea of guilt, remorse, anger and sometimes, pity. Then, we sleep. Between remorse and sleep, we may call a friend or a parent. We may go online and seek solace in whatever achievement we’ve managed to muster. But ultimately, we sleep.

What we forget, though, is to forgive. We chide ourselves and often resolve to do ‘better’ (whatever that means to you)  but rarely do we forgive ourselves. We may justify our actions, our thoughts. We may rationalize, we may even blame others for them. But as I’ve already said, we rarely forgive ourselves for them.

There are many reasons we find it hard to forgive ourselves. Maybe, we don’t think we deserve forgiveness, maybe we think we don’t need it.

But, that’s not true. Now, I don’t have any data or scientifically proven empirical research, but I do have a perspective (as always), so I will say this: we need to forgive ourselves.

There are many reasons we find it hard to forgive ourselves. Maybe, we don’t think we deserve forgiveness, maybe we think we don’t need it.

We need to be able to take a fall, make a mistake, bum off and then, when it back fires, forgive ourselves. Don’t get lazy or complacent, but acknowledge that it’s okay to be human, to get lazy, to bum off, to ‘not feel it’ every once in a while.

When we forgive ourselves, we learn to recognize a flaw, comprehend it’s consequences, and then, work on it. When we don’t forgive, we get so caught up in defending and berating ourselves, that we forget to comprehend and improve. Why would you improve on something when you’ve convinced yourself that”you’re just lazy” or that “you deserve this”?

Why would you improve on something when you’ve convinced yourself that”you’re just lazy” or that “you deserve this”?

You probably won’t.

So, forgive yourself. Cut yourself some slack. Learn from it and ultimately grow from it.

I’ll see you next week, till then, let’s be friends on Facebook, maybe?

Love,

sr