What ‘Change’ Really Looks like

“A change is a consequence of  your actions and all the conditions you imposed on that change”

Ever wondered what life would be like if everything went your way. If you were where you wanted to be right now and if you were just the person you wanted to be?

I have. But more than once, I’ve been disappointed, let down and even angry, that all the changes that I wanted and needed weren’t happening. That everything I wanted to be I wasn’t. Then, I grew out my hair. From a bob in freshman year, I decided to grow out my hair till my waist. It would look prettier, I would look prettier. I figured that if I couldn’t change all the physical or personal traits, I could at least alter one of them. I chose hair. It seemed the easiest.

I’ve been disappointed, let down and even angry, that all the changes that I wanted and needed weren’t happening.

I would oil it, wash it, condition it. I never dyed it and didn’t apply any heat. That should have worked. But even then, some days it would be okay and most days my hair would be rough and gross and all over the place. The worst weeks were when my hair reached awkward in-between stages. I could do nothing with it. I could have straightened it or curled it, but I didn’t want to spoil my hair with so much heat. I hated the process. The only reason I kept going was because it looked better than my bob did. One day at a time, my hair grew. Slowly, painstakingly it grew. I had thought that it would me a maximum of two years to get my hair to my waist. It’s been three years now and it’s still just at my mid back. But now, it feels good, it looks good. I can handle the awkward in-between stages, the right amount of shampoo and conditioner (even though I still get it wrong some days), the time and patience and the pace. I finally got it. Almost.

Change in life is like growing out your hair. It’s annoying, time-consuming, it has awkward in-between stages and it will take time.

The point (finally) is this – change in life is like growing out your hair. It’s annoying, time-consuming, it has awkward in-between stages and it will take time. Many times, you don’t get it right in the first twenty times, but then you begin to get a hang of it and even then some days, you fail.

Basically –

Change is slow. It will take time for you to make that change. Whatever it may be – career goals, emotional goals, physical goals, they will take time.  The start to the end will take time, patience and persistence.

Change is imperfect. Things will not go exactly as you planned. Some days will look better than others, but a lot of days especially in the beginning of the change will be riddled with failures and unseen issues and seemingly inconsequential roadblocks.

Change is tiring. To constantly have to work towards a goal, is tiring. Emotionally, physically, spiritually. It will become a habit someday, but today, or right now, it won’t be.

Change is confusing. Many times you can do all the right things and still not be where you thought you’d be. It’s something different, it’s something you’ve not done before, it’s not a habit. Of course, you wouldn’t know exactly what’s happening.

Change is conditional. Change is something different. Not necessarily new, it’s just different. It’ll only go as far as you go or as far as you take it. Change will be a consequence of your actions and of all the conditions you impose on that change. 

A change in your life will not happen overnight. An epiphany might, but the decision, or consequences of a change will take every bit of who you are and every bit of what you want to be.

So, keep striving, keep changing and I’ll meet you next Monday.

Love,

sr